how to help someone with bpd during an episode

Anna Avalos
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How to Help Someone with BPD During an Episode

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition that can cause intense, unstable emotions, impulsive behavior, and difficulty forming relationships. When someone with BPD experiences an episode, it can be a very challenging and emotional time for both the person and their loved ones. It’s important to remember that BPD is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw; it’s a real and treatable condition.

If you know someone who has BPD, there are things you can do to help them during an episode. Here are some tips:

  1. Stay calm and non-judgmental. It’s important to stay calm and non-judgmental when someone with BPD is experiencing an episode. This can be difficult, especially if the person is saying or doing things that upset or anger you, but it’s important to remember that their behavior is a symptom of their illness. Try to avoid making judgments or telling them what to do. Instead, listen to them without interrupting, and let them know that you’re there for them.
  2. Validate their feelings. People with BPD often feel like their emotions are invalidated or dismissed. It’s important to validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. Let them know that it’s okay to feel the way they do, and that you understand why they’re upset.
  3. Help them to calm down. If the person with BPD is feeling overwhelmed or out of control, there are things you can do to help them calm down. Try talking to them in a soothing voice, or offering them a blanket or a cup of tea. You can also try distracting them with a favorite activity, such as watching a movie or listening to music.
  4. Encourage them to seek professional help. If the person with BPD is not already in therapy, encourage them to seek professional help. Therapy can help them to manage their symptoms and develop coping strategies. If the person is in immediate danger, call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room.

What to Avoid

There are some things you should avoid doing when helping someone with BPD during an episode. These include:

  1. Arguing with them. Arguing with someone with BPD is not productive. It will only make them more upset and defensive.
  2. Taking their behavior personally. It’s important to remember that the person with BPD is not trying to hurt you. Their behavior is a symptom of their illness.
  3. Trying to fix them. You can’t fix someone with BPD. The best thing you can do is to support them and encourage them to seek professional help.
  4. Giving up on them. No matter how difficult it may be, it’s important to never give up on someone with BPD. They need your support and understanding.

Conclusion

Helping someone with BPD during an episode can be a challenging experience, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you, and there is hope for recovery. If you are struggling to help someone with BPD, please reach out to a mental health professional for support.

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FAQ about BPD Episodes

What is BPD?

  • BPD is a mental health condition characterized by intense emotions, impulsive behaviors, and difficulty maintaining relationships.

What are BPD episodes like?

  • Episodes can range from mild to severe and include intense mood swings, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and aggression.

How can I help during an episode?

  • Protect: Remove any harmful objects or potential triggers.
  • Acknowledge: Validate their feelings and let them know you understand they’re struggling.
  • Support: Listen attentively, offer support, and let them know you’re there for them.

What should I avoid doing?

  • Don’t argue, judge, or try to control the person.
  • Don’t take their words or actions personally.
  • Don’t leave them alone if they’re at risk of harm.

Should I call emergency services?

  • Yes, if they are in immediate danger, threatening self-harm or suicide, or causing harm to others.

How long do episodes usually last?

  • Episodes can vary in duration, but typically last a few hours to a few days.

What can I do after an episode?

  • Follow up with them to see how they’re doing.
  • Encourage them to seek professional help, such as therapy or medication.
  • Support their recovery process by being patient and understanding.

How can I take care of myself when supporting someone with BPD?

  • Set boundaries and limits to protect your own well-being.
  • Seek support from a mental health professional or support group.
  • Practice self-care techniques, such as mindfulness or exercise.

Additional tips

  • Provide a safe and calm environment.
  • Avoid enabling their impulsive behaviors.
  • Stay consistent and reliable in your support.

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Anna Avalos

Anna Avalos

Anna Avalos is SoFi’s Chief People Officer, responsible for the company’s total talent strategy. Her career spans large, global organizations with fast-paced growth environments, and she has a breadth of experience building teams and business. Prior to SoFi, Anna led HR for Tesla’s EMEA region. She previously spent 14 years at Stryker, where she began her career in product operations and business unit leadership before she transitioned into several HR functions. Anna holds a BA in Communications and an MBA from the University of Arizona